The Fairer Sex

Short Stories on Male Privilege

1. Equal Opportunities. Women are equal to men in the job market, provided they are hired instead of men. At Enginex Engineering, the design of internal-combustion engines absolutely requires it.
2. Wined and Dined. Some women reject men for not paying for dates; others reject him for paying. Feminists insist on disempowering women; but the equality see-saw can never truly balance.
3. Defective Girls.  Our feminized education system does everything it can to educate defective girls: curb their competitive spirit, inhibit their socialisation, shame them, prohibit everything that interests them.
4. Genitals as Brains. Women's manipulation of men via their sexual instinct leads to honey traps in which the man 'asked for it'. Honey-trap women, however, are manipulated by male Svengalis; hence the law should go easy on them.
5. The Glass Ceiling. Women are under-represented in many high-status walks of life. If only men stopped being so driven, so career-focussed, so ambitious, so competitive, then more women would have a chance.
6. The Glass Floor. It is those wicked men again, conspiring to keep women out of jobs which are difficult, dirty and dangerous. But at least they pay their taxes to support feminists pretending to be academics.
7. Kindergarten Korrections. Boys are born wicked, but fortunately their misbehaviour can be corrected in kindergarten. We must choose the right toys for them, stifle their competitive spirit, suppress all rough-and-tumble play, and let girls hit them with impunity.
8. The Casting Couch. Men exploit their positions of power to obtain sexual favours; however, there are no known instances in human history of women using their sexual allure to exploit men.
9. The Cuttlefish Stratagem. The weaker male cuttlefish pretends to be a female, in order to access the dominant male's harem; just as a beta human male will adopt feminism.
10. White Knight.  The conservative male with his chivalrous behaviour is, unknowingly, a feminist. But feminists are not so easy to please, and nowadays a man might be sacked for opening a portal a woman is passing through.
11. Pennsylvania Avenue. Men must not look at what is put into their faces. Not unless they're an alpha male that is; for the bait is intended only for particular fish.
12. Cardboard City. Most rough-sleepers are men, a well-demonstrated fact that no-one is interested in as a 'gendered problem'. But it seems that, even in a state of destitution, such men are sill oppressing women.
13. Apples and Oranges. Perhaps laws should be introduced, forcing greengrocers to sell apples and oranges for the same price? An insistence on zero pay gap will be to the detriment of women.
14. Never had it so Good. Rape jokes are reflected in a litany of sackings, shamings and public denunciations, unless, that is, the victim is a man, whose eviscerated sense of masculinity is deemed unimportant.
15. Cherchez la Femme. Men approach and persist; women attract and resist. But the male role in the sexual dance is increasingly criminalised, just as women are denied the chance to assess a potential mate.
16. Do Not Pass Go. Men jailed for wrongdoing, with an additional quota for being a man; while women are infantilised, as they cannot be held accountable for their wrongdoing.
17. Potted Plants. Sexual codes of conduct and kangaroo courts are designed to address a 'rape crisis' on college campuses, and male students must be sacrificed to manufacture it.
18. The Frying Pan. When a man abuses his wife, address the man; when a woman abuses her husband, address the man. Thus says the Duluth Model, a feminist concept of domestic abuse.
19. Cuckoo Capers. When a man suspects he's not the father, he may not carry out the necessary DNA tests to discover the truth; if a worries that his genes are not in the child, he does not understand what fatherhood is really about.
20. With Your Boots On.  Men do most of the dangerous jobs, which is why they die in workplace accidents at twenty time the rate that women do. While this can be remedied by safety legislation to some degree, the political will is somehow lacking.
21. An Object Lesson. Women must not be judged by their bodies, which is to say sexually objectified, but it is okay to judge a man by his success. This also means that failure in men is punished.
22. A Few Good Women. The push to employ women in the military means that their weakness, relative to men, must be denied or excused. Psychological differences on the battlefield are another factor. Emasculation of the military is the result.
23. Men's Sheds. Women-only spaces are fine, but men-only spaces are sexist and must be stopped. Three spaces are considered: golf clubs, the men's sheds movement, and gyms.
24. Winning Isn't Everything. Women must not compete with men in athletics and other sports, otherwise they would win no prizes. They must still be paid, the same as men, however, even though they compete at a lower level.
25. Mating Calls in Homo Sapiens. The male must attract the attention of the female in the mating ritual, but human societies now condemn these attempts. The cause appears to be the emergence of a subspecies, Homo Sapiens Feministus.